I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
