I don't think brook has ever known best
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I touched a dick in church today
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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