I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
