Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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