I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
no, he came in my armpit
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
