Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
