i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize