I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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