I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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