Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
