It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
