He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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