I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
