porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
