stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hippo gnu deer
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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