It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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