ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
