Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
