i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
