We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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