Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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