you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
