I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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