FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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