I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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