Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize