absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
