Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
