I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
