Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
