Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Use "feeling words"
Yay
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
