There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
