We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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