dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
