I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
