Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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