I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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