Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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