arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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