bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
