just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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