"it" just moved
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
