he shaved USA in his pubs
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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