Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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