Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
