I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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