So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
