It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
