You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
