I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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