Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
