i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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