I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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