i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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