I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
