He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
