We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
