Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
