ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he puts the penis in happiness.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
