Pants 0. Shit 1.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
