i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
