the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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